Saturday, February 2, 2008

Do You Over Analyze?

One of the differences between the sexes is how negative emotions are handled. Men usually like to avoid them and women... don't.

In fact, women get stuck in negative emotions and almost cause a downward spiral. According to psychologist Susan Nolan-Hoeksems, women are twice as likely to develop depression than men. Her findings also include that women are more inclined to over analyze about the stressors and disappointments they encounter to the point of getting stuck there. They focus on the distress and possible causes, over and over and over.

In repeatedly going over negative thoughts and feelings, we examine them, question them...actually creating the problems to swell in size. When we analyze like this, it just makes life harder.

It seems when we have a pause in life, we fill this space with things to worry about. What this does is suck our emotions right out of us, our energy level is low and we can start to feel overwhelmed.

Women can worry about...almost anything! Appearance, family, health, their jobs, friends, relationships, money...

I have found when I lapse into my over thinking ways, I just ask myself one question, which leads to another, then another...having said that...this then leads into the expansion of the situation into another situation, then another. At times this creates a scenario in my head, that I actually can talk myself into thinking is true, when in reality, it isn't.

Many women analyze and obsess about relationships. Why? Because they are important to women. What we do though, is torture those around us. Constantly looking for reassurance, questioning, looking for support. This often creates an unpleasant atmosphere and what we are craving from those around us, we don't receive. We get less...it makes others not want to be around.

Of course, some situations requires over thinking and is quite natural, but when it becomes obsessive, that's when we have to learn to stop.

How can we overcome over thinking?

* Be aware and understand that over thinking is not giving you insight, but clouds your mind.

* Use positive distractions and get your attention away from the over thinking. Read, take a walk, watch a movie

* Exercise

* Repeatedly tell your self to STOP when you catch yourself over thinking

* Make a conscious decision to not allow your over thinking or negative thoughts control you

* Write down your thoughts. Keep a diary

* Listen to music, dance...

2 comments:

Ajayprabhu said...

Thats true,we men or women over analyze things in our own different manner.The reason what I feel most of the time is insecurity over relationship or work life it depends..because we fear failure,rejection thats why we think too much sometimes and make things worse or mess..Sometimes giving too much attention for any particular things create lot of puzzle but to some extent its natural and unavoidable because it shows how we are serious for that particular things, whether its love or work or anything..

I want to talk with you one to one...

AC Associates said...

Ajay,
Yes I agree. Sometimes in thinking too much, it makes the situation much worse. I have experienced that myself and am working on improving that part of my life. Other times, thinking more is required to make the best decision.

 
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